My Christmas Story

Today 12/20/2009

Today as I was driving up to a fast food drive thru, I look over and see a man walking across the parking lot.
He had strips of rags wrapped around his feet, to wear as shoes. he carried a few items in his hand, they were all worn and dirty.
As I was ordering my food, my heart wept.. as my heart broke for this man, I felt this strong urge to tell him "God loves you" I pulled around the building and there he stood with his back toward me,I called out to him "sir" he turns and I see this old face, covered with a long black and gray beard
As I held out a 10 dollar bill, I said " God loves you" he says " yes, I KNOW"... I said " He wants to bless you."
and the man said to me" remember it is better to give than to receive, yes God has blessed me." and then he took my hand and we prayed together.
before I drove off he looks and says to me " have a blessed Journey" I started to cry. because if a man who wears rags wrapped around his feet for shoes
can say " yes, God has blessed me, Who am I to moan about not having the things I want " when I have all I need. Shoes on my feet, clothes on my back, food to eat and a bed to lay my head... Most importantly a God who has given me the gift of my daughters for they are more then I truly deserve. maybe you don't have everything you want, but at least you have shoes!

So this is my Christmas story, it has helped me remember the true meaning.. Today I found Christmas all over again

Giving All

I have been struggling with my faith, and wondering why is it that God has not heard my prayers, my cry out for help?? then I realized after reading Aaron Potratz's post http://trutheran.blogspot.com/ That I have not been giving myself completely to God. Not both physically and spiritually. I have not been giving him all that he wants from me, and he deserves so much.

"In me you live and move and have your being" ...acts17:28

I mean come on people.. How many of you actually believe in God.. ? if it weren't for him we would not have life, yet we are too ashamed to say " yes, I want to live for God?? we would hide our bibles out of fear of how others would judge us, But in the end result who decides if we will spend eternity in Hell or in Heaven? I don't know about you, but I am not going to put my fate into the worlds hands... Have you not seen with your own eyes what this world is coming to? have you not seen the things that is going on in this world? Yet you rather live for it and not for God? You can be a closet Christian if you want, But I am smart enough to know that I can't fool God. He knows me inside and out.


"I know everything about you, I know when you sit down and when you rise up, I am familiar with your ways" ... psalms 139:1-3

That is so awesome to me, that My Father already knows everything there is to know about me, my needs and desires…. even before I ask.. No one else knows me like him. No one loves me like he does and no one wants more for me than my Father who is in heaven.


He is the only one who CAN give me all that I desire and more! And all that he ask from me is that give myself body , heart and soul

" Recovering sinner" second thought

A thought occurred to me as I was typing the words " struggling with my Faith" on my facebook status. It is very important to surround our self with other Christians and form great friendships so if needed they can form that intervention on those of us who may be slipping.

I am a single mother and more things seems to work against me more often than for me.
So sometimes it gets hard to continue into my walk with Christ, Not because I don't believe in him. But because My faith is being tested and it just gets hard. Now because I know my God has always been on my side.. I normally don't stay in this state for very long, but even still it would be nice to have people with whom I connect with , who understands.

What about those recovering sinners who have never known Christ at all until the time they were saved. Born again, brand new in Christ..? It is our duty as Christians to take care of them.. isn't it? I mean... isn't that the whole point of ministering ? to make sure we share what we know in God with those we cross paths with, and to love just as Christ did.. as Christ does

Shame on us who have ever passed by someone who is broken and just kept going.
I think that those of you who call yourself Christians but do not love people, simply because they are children of God also, and if your heart doesn't break for the broken hearted... If we can't be there to help others and care for others ( without the " man do I have to? " attitude) we need to find our self back on our knees, we need to revisit the time that we promised to live for God, We need to put our self in check.

Being a Christian and Fad Diets

The word Christian means - Christ like. Living a holy life.

Have you ever been on a diet and it really works, you lose those extra pounds that you wanted, So you then start eating whatever you want again, and then slowly start putting back on the weight ?
Well, That's because being healthy is a life style change. You have to change the way you eat and exercise in order to maintain that health.

Like so many " Christians" today. They forget to put Christ first in everything they do.
We need more than going to church on Sunday. Being a Christian and living a holy life is a life style, its something we have to do everyday. It all comes down to reading the word of God and being in constant prayer with God. What happens when we only visit our Church one day a week or maybe even just on Christmas or Easter? What happens to our walk with God when we stop praying and Studying his word? We then slowly start to fall away from God. The next time we call on him is when everything in life gets to be more then we can handle,
Don't make God a yo-yo diet.
Make him a way of life!

Recovering Sinner

If I were an alcoholic and decided I needed to free myself from this bad thing I am doing to my body I'd detox, go to AA meetings, and have a sponsor to call anytime I need to reach out to someone. This is how I look at myself and sinning, I have been born again, I am a recovering sinner. I will never be free of temptation. and sometimes I will fall off the wagon, Sometimes I will need to call my sponsor ( God ) when I feel myself being tempted in the flesh, getting to my knees and spending time in prayer, getting into the word of MY GOD, It will put you back on track, it allows you to slow yourself down and rethink the actions you have taken or are about to take. Reminding myself that I am a child of Christ, taking baby steps. All I can do is grow closer to the Lord every day by nourishing my mind , body and soul with his word and through prayer

In The Year 1828

In the year 1828, Mr John Smeltzer of Green Township, Gallia Co. Ohio, Was married to Miss Margaret Kerns. For several years he lived in the enjoyment of all the comforts of an easy independence, blessed with a wife of great inability, affectionate and kind to all around her, and seven sons and daughters all in their minority. In 1845 the putrid sore throat attacked one of their children which terminated its existence in a very few days .. then, one by one they were attacked and died until there were six buried. The father and mother deserted the premises to save the last of their children, Christina, then in her third year (3 years old) They did save it. and in some eighteen months after this sore visitation his wife blessed with another infant, in some measure to repair their loss, but strange to say, in a few days ( 14 days) after the birth of her child Mrs. Smeltzer and her infant both died, and left him with one little girl, to mourn the loss of a fond Mother and seven brothers and and sisters.

Since the death of his family, Mr. Smeltzer has exhibited continual mental agony, and evinced a settled purpose of continuing in that state of mind until his death should unite him with his departed family. A few days since, while at the house of Mr. Jacob Smeltzer, his brother, he was attached with colic and after suffering excruciating pain a few days, he died. He was buried by side of his wife. Leaving one little girl out of a family of ten persons.

Christina Smeltzer was married to Jonas Sibley on dec.22 1861 , she was 18 years old. Had she not survived the sad events that took place I would not be here...

Untitled

my heart breaks, I don't know why.all I feel is this aching inside. everyday I cry,I am searching for something, but I don't know what.I can hear it calling me. It wakes me from my sleep.I can't make out the words my heart tries to speak.I have built too many walls around it,the words it speaks are too faint to hear. the ones who get close, I push away all I want is for some day, someone be here to stay.love me with all your body, heart and soul for all I have to give is myself. I want to love and be loved. every day this hole in my heart grows and it makes me scream within. soon I'll be empty and wont feel a thing, I welcome this numbing feeling that's takes over the pain. His voice becomes clearer and makes me more aware he has knocked down the walls that were once there. he is here to give me all that I need, offering me his love and all the care. he will not let me push him away, he stands tall and he stands firm. his arms never left , from being wrapped tightly around me. it is from his love that I feel now, with his compassion that I see the world around me, the hurt of the world, the broken hearts, the silent screams calling out in need. It is through him that I will find my way. One step at a time, with my God holding my hand I will make it to the promise land. The road ahead will be tough but that’s when Jesus will carry me through. With all the pain we face nothing is too great, kneel down and speak his name, I will knell down next to you and scream it out loud if I have to. He is the healing hand, The loving touch, Trust and Give faith in him, for he is the one who will hug you and never let you go, trust in him he will give you the strength to take on these new battles and you will fight and you will win. Just trust in my lord Jesus Christ Amen and Amen

A LITTLE GIRLS STRUGLE

I can remember when I was just a child, I hated to even look at my own body.. Still now, afraid to let anyone see me fully, only letting bits and pieces to show..Hear men go gaga over the perfect women, and later looking myself over to see that I am not at all like those women. Even now , looking at myself , putting myself down in front of my daughters, After hearing my daughter say something about the way she looks... it broke my heart! We are all beautiful in so many different ways ... And I think we need to start teaching our children that they are beautiful and no one is perfect no matter how the world may look at some women... It is our responsibility to show our little girls that they are beautiful.. Mothers should love themselves ... Men may not understand it too well, but these are things that have great impact on little girls , it affects them and shapes their lives ( so to speak) we should stop putting people on pedestals based on how they look, and putting others down based on the same thing. Remember a low self esteem can lead some young girls down way too many wrong paths.. ITS TIME TO START CARING

To My Daughters

Like liquid filled to the rim, splashing out and toppling over the edge
My heart of which contains the love for the two most wonderful things that God has ever blessed me with. Nicole and Amber
My heart was yours before I could even hold you in my arms and see your beautiful face.
My heart over flows from the love that I feel,
I have to give true thanks to God and his amazing grace,
Counting fingers and toes, are days long behind us as we travel the road ahead.
May God take your hand and lead you along the right paths.
Just know that mommy is only one step behind you looking on
and wishing you the best.. Be true to who you are and never settle for less
Remember My love for you will never fade and will always be true.
It is for the smile that I have each day and the joy in my heart that I OWE to you.

Love from mom

Just Me

My life changes today from this moment on
My Children will see me be the very best and living to my full potential
So in turn they will be the best at who they are,

I will love with everything in me,
care for the world , because its my right
stand up for the person next to me
and ignore the one turning his nose up at me because I do

I will forget all the negative my family has taught me
embrace all the positive my children will learn from me

I will cry when I am sad , and also when I am happy
I will touch lives , and see smiles
I will leave my mark on those who cross my path
even if they don't know why,

I'll be the shoulder to lean on,
the listening ear to speak to

I will be loved and broken hearted
But I will move on,

I am random, silly and a little crazy too
But no one can change who I am
For now on,
I can only be me
simply who I was born to be

Just me...

Self Worth

it is what you don't say, but already know that hurts me most

the unspoken words, leaving empty spaces filled with lies

Fake smiles, laughter to hide the void

momentary pleasures don't last long enough

empty touches that fade with the night,

lowering ones self value and placing another on a pedestal

a sad and unrealized mistake on both acts

She's more than this, better

Beautiful, angelic

No one ever sees , she wants to believe

trying to recognize her own self worth

Monarch

Okay , I met this guy who invited me to a secret society party in Panama city Fl.
I was kinda excited about it at first until I learned a little about their little " secrets society"
its kind of like a masked ball.. Can you say " Eyes Wide Shut" this is exactly what these parties are based on, Ever hear of the "Monarch Slavery"??? well, apparently Monarch is a form of brain wash, its usually starts when the girl is still very young .. at toddler age

ACCORDING to these people, there is one word that is programmed into these women's mind, and when spoken, they are at the mercy of their master, used for their own sexual games, passed around to be used, after the sex games are over the women don't know what has happen to them, they suffer from black outs/ time loss

um can you say " Hell NO "
this girl will not be going to anything like that
I am def going to study more about the Monarch and keep you posted

Not just a Smile

Sometimes we will cross paths with someone who will make a difference in our life,even if its just making us smile,To the people on the outside looking in it might not seem like such a big deal,but to me it means the world, so if I only get to have your friendship for just a moment I'll still feel lucky to have had you for only a moment,and if our friendship grows into something more then I will be excited to see where this road takes us, If we are meant to be for a life time, Then this smile will last forever. Its not just a smile its a feeling of happiness.Who knows how far it can go, we don't know,I guess that is why we take chances in life.. All I know is right now I have a smile.
Jenaoneil