Life for me sometimes seem to be more struggle than happiness.
I have found myself lately trying to pull myself out of a depression,
Sometimes I feel like I have fallen over the edge , and I am barely hanging on, and I want to let go of what little bit of faith I am holding on to. Because maybe at the bottom of this mountain, down in the valleys it will be easier. I feel like I am in the middle of the ocean all alone. I try so hard to keep my head above the water. I don't know how much water I can tread, I am worn and almost numb from it all. It seems like it would be so much easier to just give in, close my eyes and let the sea suck me in.So I pray.. Jesus, If I let go... please don't let go.
Jesus, Please don't let go.
I know that past it all there is so much greatness. I know that in the middle of it all is a God standing against the worst of it.
So Jesus, please don't let me let go.
I tell myself that the mass amount of power that's in all of the good of what is on top of this mountain is more than I can handle without the hardship of getting there. I can't see what God has for me. I can't see past this mess that I am in. I can't see past my broken heart, the pain I am in, all of the worry that clouds my mind.
But I know that when I get on my knees to praise my God, I can close my eyes and see that right around that dark bubble that arrives as my eyes shut completely is a throne of a king of who I bow down to, seated just before me. If I could just get around that black spot I could see his face. I would see a face with concern because he cares, I hear a whisper of words.. Don't let go, I will see you through this. Please trust in me.
I am focused on the scripture " ALL things work together for the good for those who love the Lord" Romans 8:28 And I am speaking this into situation in my life because Thank you God for including " ALL" things.. which means God is saying to me... It doesn't matter what it is, it doesn't matter how great or small " ALL" things will work for the God.. This is word I hold onto today, a living word that's very much alive and powerful. I believe in the power of Gods word and his promises. So I pray God don't let me let go of this, Don't let go Jesus
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Giving God control
In the dream it looked like a war zone. everything was dark and gray and almost desolated. I don't recognise the place I am in,
I am walking along the sidewalk, there are abandoned cars along the way on this long stretch of road. as I walk it seems that everything I touch disintegrates, it breaks into an ash like substance and then withers away.
I am scared and alone, and everything I reach for is destroyed. then the sky lights up with lightening as it starts to storm, and the rain comes down so hard that it hurts my skin.. I can't take it! each drop that hits me burns. I look to see a house sitting at the end of the road, I run to it but the door to get inside is on the second level. I see on the side of the house a set of stairs, when my hand touches the railing , flames run up the railing and the house splits in half and begins to disintegrate and fall away... I scream " JESUS!!!!" as I look to the sky... I wake up
See God has allowed me to cross paths with Aaron Potratz, I am a believer that everything happens for a reason and the people we meet along the way is for a reason... Maybe Aarons reason is to help give me a better understanding of the dreams I have like this one.. he helped me realize that maybe the dreams symbolizes my life and how everything I seem to touch, fix or do on my own I mess it up somehow, and the more I rely on my own self the deeper I get into the mess I am in, and so now in this storm that is too much for me to take I withdraw within myself (the house)and I am drowning within all of this mess, the things I struggle with. But I am destroying myself, my house and my family in a sense... and at the very last minute I call out to the one I should have been calling to in the first place... GOD.
Sure I have been praying to God about my struggles, but I have not given full control of my life over to God... and everything I try to fix on my own... I can't do it. I can't do it alone, only God can.
I know its hard, but we have to learn to give everything to God, espesally when we are hurting. I found myself on my knees. praying in the spirit and this is what God spoke to me .. in a small still voice I heard these thoughts enter into my head and I started writing the words as they came to me with tears running down my face like a child facing her Father
" You are searching in all the wrong places, Look to me always..
you are more than you see for yourself, I created you, I planed you, I love you and I died for you. Even if no one else sees your heart.. I know your heart very well.. just keep loving everyone.. LOOK TO ME for all your needs, I will provide more than you know. STOP crying to others but Cry out to me"
I find myself a lot of times crying to everyone else around me about all the things that are wrong in my life, about how if things don't change I will be in so much trouble .... blah blah blah... but what comes out of it??? nothing!!! I find myself still in the same place with a few more annoyed people in my life.
I believe getting to the place where we are able to give all to God is a process... we have to condition our hearts and minds. and the only way to do that is to pray, pray , pray... even when it doesn't seem like any anything is changing , pray more! and read Gods word... there is something Great about the word of God... because he knows already what we need from him , his word as been constructed in a way to minister to us no matter the circumstance in our lives. I find myself praying scripture to God for myself. Gods word is a love letter, from Genesis to Revelation he is talking to you and to me.... Go and listen to the voice of God and then let him listen to the sound of your voice and pray - your sister in CHRIST
( while your at it, go check out Aarons blog... he follows me here, just click on his picture icon)
I am walking along the sidewalk, there are abandoned cars along the way on this long stretch of road. as I walk it seems that everything I touch disintegrates, it breaks into an ash like substance and then withers away.
I am scared and alone, and everything I reach for is destroyed. then the sky lights up with lightening as it starts to storm, and the rain comes down so hard that it hurts my skin.. I can't take it! each drop that hits me burns. I look to see a house sitting at the end of the road, I run to it but the door to get inside is on the second level. I see on the side of the house a set of stairs, when my hand touches the railing , flames run up the railing and the house splits in half and begins to disintegrate and fall away... I scream " JESUS!!!!" as I look to the sky... I wake up
See God has allowed me to cross paths with Aaron Potratz, I am a believer that everything happens for a reason and the people we meet along the way is for a reason... Maybe Aarons reason is to help give me a better understanding of the dreams I have like this one.. he helped me realize that maybe the dreams symbolizes my life and how everything I seem to touch, fix or do on my own I mess it up somehow, and the more I rely on my own self the deeper I get into the mess I am in, and so now in this storm that is too much for me to take I withdraw within myself (the house)and I am drowning within all of this mess, the things I struggle with. But I am destroying myself, my house and my family in a sense... and at the very last minute I call out to the one I should have been calling to in the first place... GOD.
Sure I have been praying to God about my struggles, but I have not given full control of my life over to God... and everything I try to fix on my own... I can't do it. I can't do it alone, only God can.
I know its hard, but we have to learn to give everything to God, espesally when we are hurting. I found myself on my knees. praying in the spirit and this is what God spoke to me .. in a small still voice I heard these thoughts enter into my head and I started writing the words as they came to me with tears running down my face like a child facing her Father
" You are searching in all the wrong places, Look to me always..
you are more than you see for yourself, I created you, I planed you, I love you and I died for you. Even if no one else sees your heart.. I know your heart very well.. just keep loving everyone.. LOOK TO ME for all your needs, I will provide more than you know. STOP crying to others but Cry out to me"
I find myself a lot of times crying to everyone else around me about all the things that are wrong in my life, about how if things don't change I will be in so much trouble .... blah blah blah... but what comes out of it??? nothing!!! I find myself still in the same place with a few more annoyed people in my life.
I believe getting to the place where we are able to give all to God is a process... we have to condition our hearts and minds. and the only way to do that is to pray, pray , pray... even when it doesn't seem like any anything is changing , pray more! and read Gods word... there is something Great about the word of God... because he knows already what we need from him , his word as been constructed in a way to minister to us no matter the circumstance in our lives. I find myself praying scripture to God for myself. Gods word is a love letter, from Genesis to Revelation he is talking to you and to me.... Go and listen to the voice of God and then let him listen to the sound of your voice and pray - your sister in CHRIST
( while your at it, go check out Aarons blog... he follows me here, just click on his picture icon)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Complete Trust
I am trying really hard, God. with this every day struggle
maybe I should try harder to push it down deep,
push it down until its under my feet. It breaks my heart and I can't help my emotions
oh how I let you down so many times, every day falling so weak.
eyes full of tears, to the rim,overwhelmed they stream down
my heart searches for your comfort, forgetting …
forgetting that your arms are always wide open
it isn't anything of this world that I seek, I am confused..
its you, My God- the comfort, the companionship the relationship
your sweet love that I crave.
I can’t replace it ,
Nothing in this world can replace who you are, what you do
The love that you give and the blessings that you bring.
If I could just let go of this world…
just let it go.
I know that you have so many great things for me.
But why can't I let it go completely? why do I hold on to it?
its because I am scared that if I let go of everything that brings me pleasure in the slightest
I will have nothing. and in knowing this.. Knowing it is a lack of faith in My heavenly father upsets me…
it hurts me to know of the sadness I must cause to my God, my Father, the only Daddy that has ever been here to no end.
what do you see in me? why do you love me so?
Show me who I am, lead and guide me.. Hold my hand
maybe I should try harder to push it down deep,
push it down until its under my feet. It breaks my heart and I can't help my emotions
oh how I let you down so many times, every day falling so weak.
eyes full of tears, to the rim,overwhelmed they stream down
my heart searches for your comfort, forgetting …
forgetting that your arms are always wide open
it isn't anything of this world that I seek, I am confused..
its you, My God- the comfort, the companionship the relationship
your sweet love that I crave.
I can’t replace it ,
Nothing in this world can replace who you are, what you do
The love that you give and the blessings that you bring.
If I could just let go of this world…
just let it go.
I know that you have so many great things for me.
But why can't I let it go completely? why do I hold on to it?
its because I am scared that if I let go of everything that brings me pleasure in the slightest
I will have nothing. and in knowing this.. Knowing it is a lack of faith in My heavenly father upsets me…
it hurts me to know of the sadness I must cause to my God, my Father, the only Daddy that has ever been here to no end.
what do you see in me? why do you love me so?
Show me who I am, lead and guide me.. Hold my hand
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Love
I feel this heaviness on my heart today. I am not sure why. Today is Valentines, its where people everywhere take the time to show the love for those close to them. Maybe I am feeling this because I am alone, and I DON'T have anyone to show me that physical love. But then i thought" NO, This isn't true" the reason I feel this, is because of the lack of Love we as Christan's show for others. I love the Church I currently attend, but I have noticed there are those who sit in the seats and turn there nose up to other, I have even had one Man roll his eyes at me as I spoke to the pastor while he waited his turn. its a sting to the spirit.... to my Spirit!
lucky I can remind myself that I am a Child of God, and My father who is in Heaven loves me to no end "" TO NO END " Before we were created, when we were created and forever and ever.
I have written on this before and I feel that I am to do so again. I point the finger at myself as well as everyone around me. we all fall short of this.
God created me just as he created you, just as he created the homeless man you may pass by each day as he sits on the side of the road. Just as He created the millionaire a few miles away, or even the single mother who strugles to take care of her family. We were all made from the same God, and he doesn't love you anymore than he loves me.
My God tells each cloud where to sit in the sky.. he carves out the channels where the lighting strikes, and they report to him saying " here I AM " It was God who shut the sea behind doors to hold it in its place. he shut those doors and set its doors and bars in place saying " this far you may come, but no farther, here is where your waves halt" He gives order to the morning and shows the dawn its place.
Can you do all of these things?
No, and I can not either.
but this powerful God loves me just as he loves you. he does not judge me for what I don't have or for what I can do. and you should not judge me or anyone else. and I should not judge you. in Gods eyes you are no better than I, or me than you. we are the same. your money does not define you, and my lack of does not define me. but what does define us is our love for God and Gods people. Pray for the heart of God so that you can learn to love as he does and always will.. TO NO END
One of the reasons I feel so strongly about this is because of that "sting" I felt in my spirit.. I have my own personal relationship with God. I grow every day, trying to become stronger and better.
Our Mission as a church and as Christians is to reach out to people and share the love of God, but how can we do that when we do not love the ones we are reaching for. that STING will drive the new born Christian away, the same one we reached out to. let us humble ourselves in the Lord and be reminded the whole point of this. just because you are filling the seat doesn't mean your job is done, you can't manipulate God.
The whole point here it to Love, love and love... I can't say this enough... the words Love keep echoing in my mind, spirit and soul.
God loves me, i love God and I love you! Remember that God is Love. it is only due to the fall of man that anything other than love has been applied, any thing other than love is not of God.
lucky I can remind myself that I am a Child of God, and My father who is in Heaven loves me to no end "" TO NO END " Before we were created, when we were created and forever and ever.
I have written on this before and I feel that I am to do so again. I point the finger at myself as well as everyone around me. we all fall short of this.
God created me just as he created you, just as he created the homeless man you may pass by each day as he sits on the side of the road. Just as He created the millionaire a few miles away, or even the single mother who strugles to take care of her family. We were all made from the same God, and he doesn't love you anymore than he loves me.
My God tells each cloud where to sit in the sky.. he carves out the channels where the lighting strikes, and they report to him saying " here I AM " It was God who shut the sea behind doors to hold it in its place. he shut those doors and set its doors and bars in place saying " this far you may come, but no farther, here is where your waves halt" He gives order to the morning and shows the dawn its place.
Can you do all of these things?
No, and I can not either.
but this powerful God loves me just as he loves you. he does not judge me for what I don't have or for what I can do. and you should not judge me or anyone else. and I should not judge you. in Gods eyes you are no better than I, or me than you. we are the same. your money does not define you, and my lack of does not define me. but what does define us is our love for God and Gods people. Pray for the heart of God so that you can learn to love as he does and always will.. TO NO END
One of the reasons I feel so strongly about this is because of that "sting" I felt in my spirit.. I have my own personal relationship with God. I grow every day, trying to become stronger and better.
Our Mission as a church and as Christians is to reach out to people and share the love of God, but how can we do that when we do not love the ones we are reaching for. that STING will drive the new born Christian away, the same one we reached out to. let us humble ourselves in the Lord and be reminded the whole point of this. just because you are filling the seat doesn't mean your job is done, you can't manipulate God.
The whole point here it to Love, love and love... I can't say this enough... the words Love keep echoing in my mind, spirit and soul.
God loves me, i love God and I love you! Remember that God is Love. it is only due to the fall of man that anything other than love has been applied, any thing other than love is not of God.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
...
I am in a dark room, no one around, I can't see anything its too dark.
oh wait ... the is a doorway, light shining! All I have to do is walk through and leave all this darkness, I am scared here and heart broken all alone. But there's my way out, its the light. that is where Jesus is standing waiting. only I don't know because no one has ever told me. So what do I do...? I stay in this darkness and I will continue to be afraid of this darkness. and I will keep searching for a way out. feeling my way around, hands slide against the wall, searching, looking. Down on my knees now I am crying out to God " WHY!? if there were really a God why am I trapped? lifting my head out of my hands, looking to see... there's that doorway.. and that light again.... its always there.
.. it seems so evident and clear. We learn that Jesus died on the cross so that our sins will be forgiven and we can have life ever lasting with God. Jesus had the power as the son of God to avoid all the lashing and beatings leading up to that Cross.. so why then would he go through it? Why would he Indore such pain? I mean, could you imagine ... with each strike sharp and painful, ripping into your skin? The scars left behind on this Man born of God, but not just a Man but God himself, the love he must have for us, YOU and ME. The scars he now has are there to replace any Scar left on our lives, and I am not necessarily speaking of physical scars but of the ones that hurt us most, the hurt we carry inside, anger, hate, jealousy and rejection. These are the things that we have so much trouble of letting go. I sometimes wonder if we don't feel safer holding on to these things, because maybe in a way we hold on to it because its all we know, in a twisted way it is our comfort zone, and maybe we are afraid to let go of what we have always known. In reality we are hurting ourselves, Did you know that you do not have to hold on to what hurts you? The pain has already been inflicted by this world, ON Jesus Christ. He has been rejected, Hurt, brutally beaten, and killed. the Son of God walked this earth to face all that has already been done and will be done to Us. So we no longer have to live with the pain.
God gave us a way out, He gave YOU a way out. Don't ignore the light of the world, Jesus Christ. He didn't ignore or forget his mission, his soul purpose which is the Salvation of the people in this world. Instead he stands with open arms waiting for us to see him and walk out of the darkness and into light which is his Love for you.
oh wait ... the is a doorway, light shining! All I have to do is walk through and leave all this darkness, I am scared here and heart broken all alone. But there's my way out, its the light. that is where Jesus is standing waiting. only I don't know because no one has ever told me. So what do I do...? I stay in this darkness and I will continue to be afraid of this darkness. and I will keep searching for a way out. feeling my way around, hands slide against the wall, searching, looking. Down on my knees now I am crying out to God " WHY!? if there were really a God why am I trapped? lifting my head out of my hands, looking to see... there's that doorway.. and that light again.... its always there.
.. it seems so evident and clear. We learn that Jesus died on the cross so that our sins will be forgiven and we can have life ever lasting with God. Jesus had the power as the son of God to avoid all the lashing and beatings leading up to that Cross.. so why then would he go through it? Why would he Indore such pain? I mean, could you imagine ... with each strike sharp and painful, ripping into your skin? The scars left behind on this Man born of God, but not just a Man but God himself, the love he must have for us, YOU and ME. The scars he now has are there to replace any Scar left on our lives, and I am not necessarily speaking of physical scars but of the ones that hurt us most, the hurt we carry inside, anger, hate, jealousy and rejection. These are the things that we have so much trouble of letting go. I sometimes wonder if we don't feel safer holding on to these things, because maybe in a way we hold on to it because its all we know, in a twisted way it is our comfort zone, and maybe we are afraid to let go of what we have always known. In reality we are hurting ourselves, Did you know that you do not have to hold on to what hurts you? The pain has already been inflicted by this world, ON Jesus Christ. He has been rejected, Hurt, brutally beaten, and killed. the Son of God walked this earth to face all that has already been done and will be done to Us. So we no longer have to live with the pain.
God gave us a way out, He gave YOU a way out. Don't ignore the light of the world, Jesus Christ. He didn't ignore or forget his mission, his soul purpose which is the Salvation of the people in this world. Instead he stands with open arms waiting for us to see him and walk out of the darkness and into light which is his Love for you.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Love's Plead
I was remembering a letter that my mother found in an old family bible that belonged to my Great Grand parents, the letter was about to fall apart because it had been folded and tucked away inside this bible after being written in the year 1944, It was a love letter to My Great Grand Mother, from My Great Grand Father. As it seems in the letter she was away, it doesn't indicate why or even where she was.. only that He had said his goodbyes at the train station.
Over and over He had written how much he loved her and missed her and also how badly he needed her back home. The love he had for her was so apparent.
I was thinking isn't that what the bible is to us..? Gods love letter
from a Father to his Children? a PLEAD saying "I love you and I miss you!"
a plead to be ready? I mean if God just wanted us to know he created earth, and Jesus died to save our sins, he could have done so and our bible today would only be a few pages long. But he wanted to show us more than that. Yes, he is our Lord, creator of all things Good, He is Love, He sent Jesus to die for our sins but he also wanted us to see how our sins had made the world what it is, he is reaching out over and over showing his love and asking us to return to him. The Bible is Gods plead to us. He loves us, he misses us when we aren't living for him and he wants us ready and waiting when he calls us to a greater place,
Over and over He had written how much he loved her and missed her and also how badly he needed her back home. The love he had for her was so apparent.
I was thinking isn't that what the bible is to us..? Gods love letter
from a Father to his Children? a PLEAD saying "I love you and I miss you!"
a plead to be ready? I mean if God just wanted us to know he created earth, and Jesus died to save our sins, he could have done so and our bible today would only be a few pages long. But he wanted to show us more than that. Yes, he is our Lord, creator of all things Good, He is Love, He sent Jesus to die for our sins but he also wanted us to see how our sins had made the world what it is, he is reaching out over and over showing his love and asking us to return to him. The Bible is Gods plead to us. He loves us, he misses us when we aren't living for him and he wants us ready and waiting when he calls us to a greater place,
Friday, January 15, 2010
Haiti
The world shakes under their feet,
Buildings fall all around them as the earth caves in.
Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to think.
Parents holding their children, lifeless in their arms
Children lost with broken hearts, scared,and hurting..
No water to drink, or even food to eat.
Searching for a place to lay their head.
No home, no bed.
One mom finds a child who she thought was dead.
“ Now I realize God loves me” is what she says
The joy to find the ones I love alive, yet
Still the heart breaks for those who are buried away
in a mass grave. And for the families who still don’t know.
My prayer is that God holds the hand of all of those lost
waiting under all of whats crumbled down around them
Time is short , time is running out to find life
Please Help me! Are the cries from Haiti
Please contact your local relief organization,
Maybe a red cross in your area..?
whether its small or large, its from the heart
and speaks volumes of your character
thank you, Jennifer Oneil
better known to most as WritersAve
Buildings fall all around them as the earth caves in.
Not knowing what to do, not knowing what to think.
Parents holding their children, lifeless in their arms
Children lost with broken hearts, scared,and hurting..
No water to drink, or even food to eat.
Searching for a place to lay their head.
No home, no bed.
One mom finds a child who she thought was dead.
“ Now I realize God loves me” is what she says
The joy to find the ones I love alive, yet
Still the heart breaks for those who are buried away
in a mass grave. And for the families who still don’t know.
My prayer is that God holds the hand of all of those lost
waiting under all of whats crumbled down around them
Time is short , time is running out to find life
Please Help me! Are the cries from Haiti
Please contact your local relief organization,
Maybe a red cross in your area..?
whether its small or large, its from the heart
and speaks volumes of your character
thank you, Jennifer Oneil
better known to most as WritersAve
Sunday, December 20, 2009
My Christmas Story
Today 12/20/2009
Today as I was driving up to a fast food drive thru, I look over and see a man walking across the parking lot.
He had strips of rags wrapped around his feet, to wear as shoes. he carried a few items in his hand, they were all worn and dirty.
As I was ordering my food, my heart wept.. as my heart broke for this man, I felt this strong urge to tell him "God loves you" I pulled around the building and there he stood with his back toward me,I called out to him "sir" he turns and I see this old face, covered with a long black and gray beard
As I held out a 10 dollar bill, I said " God loves you" he says " yes, I KNOW"... I said " He wants to bless you."
and the man said to me" remember it is better to give than to receive, yes God has blessed me." and then he took my hand and we prayed together.
before I drove off he looks and says to me " have a blessed Journey" I started to cry. because if a man who wears rags wrapped around his feet for shoes
can say " yes, God has blessed me, Who am I to moan about not having the things I want " when I have all I need. Shoes on my feet, clothes on my back, food to eat and a bed to lay my head... Most importantly a God who has given me the gift of my daughters for they are more then I truly deserve. maybe you don't have everything you want, but at least you have shoes!
So this is my Christmas story, it has helped me remember the true meaning.. Today I found Christmas all over again
Today as I was driving up to a fast food drive thru, I look over and see a man walking across the parking lot.
He had strips of rags wrapped around his feet, to wear as shoes. he carried a few items in his hand, they were all worn and dirty.
As I was ordering my food, my heart wept.. as my heart broke for this man, I felt this strong urge to tell him "God loves you" I pulled around the building and there he stood with his back toward me,I called out to him "sir" he turns and I see this old face, covered with a long black and gray beard
As I held out a 10 dollar bill, I said " God loves you" he says " yes, I KNOW"... I said " He wants to bless you."
and the man said to me" remember it is better to give than to receive, yes God has blessed me." and then he took my hand and we prayed together.
before I drove off he looks and says to me " have a blessed Journey" I started to cry. because if a man who wears rags wrapped around his feet for shoes
can say " yes, God has blessed me, Who am I to moan about not having the things I want " when I have all I need. Shoes on my feet, clothes on my back, food to eat and a bed to lay my head... Most importantly a God who has given me the gift of my daughters for they are more then I truly deserve. maybe you don't have everything you want, but at least you have shoes!
So this is my Christmas story, it has helped me remember the true meaning.. Today I found Christmas all over again
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Giving All
I have been struggling with my faith, and wondering why is it that God has not heard my prayers, my cry out for help?? then I realized after reading Aaron Potratz's post http://trutheran.blogspot.com/ That I have not been giving myself completely to God. Not both physically and spiritually. I have not been giving him all that he wants from me, and he deserves so much.
"In me you live and move and have your being" ...acts17:28
I mean come on people.. How many of you actually believe in God.. ? if it weren't for him we would not have life, yet we are too ashamed to say " yes, I want to live for God?? we would hide our bibles out of fear of how others would judge us, But in the end result who decides if we will spend eternity in Hell or in Heaven? I don't know about you, but I am not going to put my fate into the worlds hands... Have you not seen with your own eyes what this world is coming to? have you not seen the things that is going on in this world? Yet you rather live for it and not for God? You can be a closet Christian if you want, But I am smart enough to know that I can't fool God. He knows me inside and out.
"I know everything about you, I know when you sit down and when you rise up, I am familiar with your ways" ... psalms 139:1-3
That is so awesome to me, that My Father already knows everything there is to know about me, my needs and desires…. even before I ask.. No one else knows me like him. No one loves me like he does and no one wants more for me than my Father who is in heaven.
He is the only one who CAN give me all that I desire and more! And all that he ask from me is that give myself body , heart and soul
"In me you live and move and have your being" ...acts17:28
I mean come on people.. How many of you actually believe in God.. ? if it weren't for him we would not have life, yet we are too ashamed to say " yes, I want to live for God?? we would hide our bibles out of fear of how others would judge us, But in the end result who decides if we will spend eternity in Hell or in Heaven? I don't know about you, but I am not going to put my fate into the worlds hands... Have you not seen with your own eyes what this world is coming to? have you not seen the things that is going on in this world? Yet you rather live for it and not for God? You can be a closet Christian if you want, But I am smart enough to know that I can't fool God. He knows me inside and out.
"I know everything about you, I know when you sit down and when you rise up, I am familiar with your ways" ... psalms 139:1-3
That is so awesome to me, that My Father already knows everything there is to know about me, my needs and desires…. even before I ask.. No one else knows me like him. No one loves me like he does and no one wants more for me than my Father who is in heaven.
He is the only one who CAN give me all that I desire and more! And all that he ask from me is that give myself body , heart and soul
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
" Recovering sinner" second thought
A thought occurred to me as I was typing the words " struggling with my Faith" on my facebook status. It is very important to surround our self with other Christians and form great friendships so if needed they can form that intervention on those of us who may be slipping.
I am a single mother and more things seems to work against me more often than for me.
So sometimes it gets hard to continue into my walk with Christ, Not because I don't believe in him. But because My faith is being tested and it just gets hard. Now because I know my God has always been on my side.. I normally don't stay in this state for very long, but even still it would be nice to have people with whom I connect with , who understands.
What about those recovering sinners who have never known Christ at all until the time they were saved. Born again, brand new in Christ..? It is our duty as Christians to take care of them.. isn't it? I mean... isn't that the whole point of ministering ? to make sure we share what we know in God with those we cross paths with, and to love just as Christ did.. as Christ does
Shame on us who have ever passed by someone who is broken and just kept going.
I think that those of you who call yourself Christians but do not love people, simply because they are children of God also, and if your heart doesn't break for the broken hearted... If we can't be there to help others and care for others ( without the " man do I have to? " attitude) we need to find our self back on our knees, we need to revisit the time that we promised to live for God, We need to put our self in check.
I am a single mother and more things seems to work against me more often than for me.
So sometimes it gets hard to continue into my walk with Christ, Not because I don't believe in him. But because My faith is being tested and it just gets hard. Now because I know my God has always been on my side.. I normally don't stay in this state for very long, but even still it would be nice to have people with whom I connect with , who understands.
What about those recovering sinners who have never known Christ at all until the time they were saved. Born again, brand new in Christ..? It is our duty as Christians to take care of them.. isn't it? I mean... isn't that the whole point of ministering ? to make sure we share what we know in God with those we cross paths with, and to love just as Christ did.. as Christ does
Shame on us who have ever passed by someone who is broken and just kept going.
I think that those of you who call yourself Christians but do not love people, simply because they are children of God also, and if your heart doesn't break for the broken hearted... If we can't be there to help others and care for others ( without the " man do I have to? " attitude) we need to find our self back on our knees, we need to revisit the time that we promised to live for God, We need to put our self in check.
Being a Christian and Fad Diets
The word Christian means - Christ like. Living a holy life.
Have you ever been on a diet and it really works, you lose those extra pounds that you wanted, So you then start eating whatever you want again, and then slowly start putting back on the weight ?
Well, That's because being healthy is a life style change. You have to change the way you eat and exercise in order to maintain that health.
Like so many " Christians" today. They forget to put Christ first in everything they do.
We need more than going to church on Sunday. Being a Christian and living a holy life is a life style, its something we have to do everyday. It all comes down to reading the word of God and being in constant prayer with God. What happens when we only visit our Church one day a week or maybe even just on Christmas or Easter? What happens to our walk with God when we stop praying and Studying his word? We then slowly start to fall away from God. The next time we call on him is when everything in life gets to be more then we can handle,
Don't make God a yo-yo diet.
Make him a way of life!
Have you ever been on a diet and it really works, you lose those extra pounds that you wanted, So you then start eating whatever you want again, and then slowly start putting back on the weight ?
Well, That's because being healthy is a life style change. You have to change the way you eat and exercise in order to maintain that health.
Like so many " Christians" today. They forget to put Christ first in everything they do.
We need more than going to church on Sunday. Being a Christian and living a holy life is a life style, its something we have to do everyday. It all comes down to reading the word of God and being in constant prayer with God. What happens when we only visit our Church one day a week or maybe even just on Christmas or Easter? What happens to our walk with God when we stop praying and Studying his word? We then slowly start to fall away from God. The next time we call on him is when everything in life gets to be more then we can handle,
Don't make God a yo-yo diet.
Make him a way of life!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Recovering Sinner
If I were an alcoholic and decided I needed to free myself from this bad thing I am doing to my body I'd detox, go to AA meetings, and have a sponsor to call anytime I need to reach out to someone. This is how I look at myself and sinning, I have been born again, I am a recovering sinner. I will never be free of temptation. and sometimes I will fall off the wagon, Sometimes I will need to call my sponsor ( God ) when I feel myself being tempted in the flesh, getting to my knees and spending time in prayer, getting into the word of MY GOD, It will put you back on track, it allows you to slow yourself down and rethink the actions you have taken or are about to take. Reminding myself that I am a child of Christ, taking baby steps. All I can do is grow closer to the Lord every day by nourishing my mind , body and soul with his word and through prayer
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
In The Year 1828
In the year 1828, Mr John Smeltzer of Green Township, Gallia Co. Ohio, Was married to Miss Margaret Kerns. For several years he lived in the enjoyment of all the comforts of an easy independence, blessed with a wife of great inability, affectionate and kind to all around her, and seven sons and daughters all in their minority. In 1845 the putrid sore throat attacked one of their children which terminated its existence in a very few days .. then, one by one they were attacked and died until there were six buried. The father and mother deserted the premises to save the last of their children, Christina, then in her third year (3 years old) They did save it. and in some eighteen months after this sore visitation his wife blessed with another infant, in some measure to repair their loss, but strange to say, in a few days ( 14 days) after the birth of her child Mrs. Smeltzer and her infant both died, and left him with one little girl, to mourn the loss of a fond Mother and seven brothers and and sisters.
Since the death of his family, Mr. Smeltzer has exhibited continual mental agony, and evinced a settled purpose of continuing in that state of mind until his death should unite him with his departed family. A few days since, while at the house of Mr. Jacob Smeltzer, his brother, he was attached with colic and after suffering excruciating pain a few days, he died. He was buried by side of his wife. Leaving one little girl out of a family of ten persons.
Christina Smeltzer was married to Jonas Sibley on dec.22 1861 , she was 18 years old. Had she not survived the sad events that took place I would not be here...
Since the death of his family, Mr. Smeltzer has exhibited continual mental agony, and evinced a settled purpose of continuing in that state of mind until his death should unite him with his departed family. A few days since, while at the house of Mr. Jacob Smeltzer, his brother, he was attached with colic and after suffering excruciating pain a few days, he died. He was buried by side of his wife. Leaving one little girl out of a family of ten persons.
Christina Smeltzer was married to Jonas Sibley on dec.22 1861 , she was 18 years old. Had she not survived the sad events that took place I would not be here...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Untitled
my heart breaks, I don't know why.all I feel is this aching inside. everyday I cry,I am searching for something, but I don't know what.I can hear it calling me. It wakes me from my sleep.I can't make out the words my heart tries to speak.I have built too many walls around it,the words it speaks are too faint to hear. the ones who get close, I push away all I want is for some day, someone be here to stay.love me with all your body, heart and soul for all I have to give is myself. I want to love and be loved. every day this hole in my heart grows and it makes me scream within. soon I'll be empty and wont feel a thing, I welcome this numbing feeling that's takes over the pain. His voice becomes clearer and makes me more aware he has knocked down the walls that were once there. he is here to give me all that I need, offering me his love and all the care. he will not let me push him away, he stands tall and he stands firm. his arms never left , from being wrapped tightly around me. it is from his love that I feel now, with his compassion that I see the world around me, the hurt of the world, the broken hearts, the silent screams calling out in need. It is through him that I will find my way. One step at a time, with my God holding my hand I will make it to the promise land. The road ahead will be tough but that’s when Jesus will carry me through. With all the pain we face nothing is too great, kneel down and speak his name, I will knell down next to you and scream it out loud if I have to. He is the healing hand, The loving touch, Trust and Give faith in him, for he is the one who will hug you and never let you go, trust in him he will give you the strength to take on these new battles and you will fight and you will win. Just trust in my lord Jesus Christ Amen and Amen
Monday, July 6, 2009
A LITTLE GIRLS STRUGLE
I can remember when I was just a child, I hated to even look at my own body.. Still now, afraid to let anyone see me fully, only letting bits and pieces to show..Hear men go gaga over the perfect women, and later looking myself over to see that I am not at all like those women. Even now , looking at myself , putting myself down in front of my daughters, After hearing my daughter say something about the way she looks... it broke my heart! We are all beautiful in so many different ways ... And I think we need to start teaching our children that they are beautiful and no one is perfect no matter how the world may look at some women... It is our responsibility to show our little girls that they are beautiful.. Mothers should love themselves ... Men may not understand it too well, but these are things that have great impact on little girls , it affects them and shapes their lives ( so to speak) we should stop putting people on pedestals based on how they look, and putting others down based on the same thing. Remember a low self esteem can lead some young girls down way too many wrong paths.. ITS TIME TO START CARING
Thursday, June 25, 2009
To My Daughters
Like liquid filled to the rim, splashing out and toppling over the edge
My heart of which contains the love for the two most wonderful things that God has ever blessed me with. Nicole and Amber
My heart was yours before I could even hold you in my arms and see your beautiful face.
My heart over flows from the love that I feel,
I have to give true thanks to God and his amazing grace,
Counting fingers and toes, are days long behind us as we travel the road ahead.
May God take your hand and lead you along the right paths.
Just know that mommy is only one step behind you looking on
and wishing you the best.. Be true to who you are and never settle for less
Remember My love for you will never fade and will always be true.
It is for the smile that I have each day and the joy in my heart that I OWE to you.
Love from mom
My heart of which contains the love for the two most wonderful things that God has ever blessed me with. Nicole and Amber
My heart was yours before I could even hold you in my arms and see your beautiful face.
My heart over flows from the love that I feel,
I have to give true thanks to God and his amazing grace,
Counting fingers and toes, are days long behind us as we travel the road ahead.
May God take your hand and lead you along the right paths.
Just know that mommy is only one step behind you looking on
and wishing you the best.. Be true to who you are and never settle for less
Remember My love for you will never fade and will always be true.
It is for the smile that I have each day and the joy in my heart that I OWE to you.
Love from mom
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Just Me
My life changes today from this moment on
My Children will see me be the very best and living to my full potential
So in turn they will be the best at who they are,
I will love with everything in me,
care for the world , because its my right
stand up for the person next to me
and ignore the one turning his nose up at me because I do
I will forget all the negative my family has taught me
embrace all the positive my children will learn from me
I will cry when I am sad , and also when I am happy
I will touch lives , and see smiles
I will leave my mark on those who cross my path
even if they don't know why,
I'll be the shoulder to lean on,
the listening ear to speak to
I will be loved and broken hearted
But I will move on,
I am random, silly and a little crazy too
But no one can change who I am
For now on,
I can only be me
simply who I was born to be
Just me...
My Children will see me be the very best and living to my full potential
So in turn they will be the best at who they are,
I will love with everything in me,
care for the world , because its my right
stand up for the person next to me
and ignore the one turning his nose up at me because I do
I will forget all the negative my family has taught me
embrace all the positive my children will learn from me
I will cry when I am sad , and also when I am happy
I will touch lives , and see smiles
I will leave my mark on those who cross my path
even if they don't know why,
I'll be the shoulder to lean on,
the listening ear to speak to
I will be loved and broken hearted
But I will move on,
I am random, silly and a little crazy too
But no one can change who I am
For now on,
I can only be me
simply who I was born to be
Just me...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Self Worth
it is what you don't say, but already know that hurts me most
the unspoken words, leaving empty spaces filled with lies
Fake smiles, laughter to hide the void
momentary pleasures don't last long enough
empty touches that fade with the night,
lowering ones self value and placing another on a pedestal
a sad and unrealized mistake on both acts
She's more than this, better
Beautiful, angelic
No one ever sees , she wants to believe
trying to recognize her own self worth
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Monarch
Okay , I met this guy who invited me to a secret society party in Panama city Fl.
I was kinda excited about it at first until I learned a little about their little " secrets society"
its kind of like a masked ball.. Can you say " Eyes Wide Shut" this is exactly what these parties are based on, Ever hear of the "Monarch Slavery"??? well, apparently Monarch is a form of brain wash, its usually starts when the girl is still very young .. at toddler age
ACCORDING to these people, there is one word that is programmed into these women's mind, and when spoken, they are at the mercy of their master, used for their own sexual games, passed around to be used, after the sex games are over the women don't know what has happen to them, they suffer from black outs/ time loss
um can you say " Hell NO "
this girl will not be going to anything like that
I am def going to study more about the Monarch and keep you posted
I was kinda excited about it at first until I learned a little about their little " secrets society"
its kind of like a masked ball.. Can you say " Eyes Wide Shut" this is exactly what these parties are based on, Ever hear of the "Monarch Slavery"??? well, apparently Monarch is a form of brain wash, its usually starts when the girl is still very young .. at toddler age
ACCORDING to these people, there is one word that is programmed into these women's mind, and when spoken, they are at the mercy of their master, used for their own sexual games, passed around to be used, after the sex games are over the women don't know what has happen to them, they suffer from black outs/ time loss
um can you say " Hell NO "
this girl will not be going to anything like that
I am def going to study more about the Monarch and keep you posted
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Not just a Smile
Sometimes we will cross paths with someone who will make a difference in our life,even if its just making us smile,To the people on the outside looking in it might not seem like such a big deal,but to me it means the world, so if I only get to have your friendship for just a moment I'll still feel lucky to have had you for only a moment,and if our friendship grows into something more then I will be excited to see where this road takes us, If we are meant to be for a life time, Then this smile will last forever. Its not just a smile its a feeling of happiness.Who knows how far it can go, we don't know,I guess that is why we take chances in life.. All I know is right now I have a smile.
Jenaoneil
Jenaoneil
